Bermuda

Well, that felt weird. Writing only one word for the title of this post. For a split second, I had a fancy to write Bermuda, Bermuda though there's no city or parish named Bermuda in Bermuda. Hold up, you say. Parish?? Yes, my fellow Americans, parish is not part of our modern geography nomenclature due to our political divisions. We have villages, towns, counties, cities, districts, and states, but no parish (unless you live in Louisiana because they're cool like that). However, we did back in "The British are coming!" days, a subtle clue about Bermuda and her nine parishes.

Nine coat of arms

Nine flowers of Bermuda

Being a "British Overseas Territory" (ahem, colony) only 761 miles away from Jamestown, VA, we can derive more clues about fair Bermuda: 1. she's not part of the Caribbean; 2. none of the country's revenue goes towards military defense; 3. their government can do as they please -- within dignified limits of course; 4. it's the perfect pit-stop (or hideaway...) between U.K. and the U.S. and 5. better chocolate. In short, a utopia for those wheeling and dealing types. And has she seen some deals, from assisting blockade runners (e.g. "Oh, Rhett!") import banned goods and slaves into the U.S. during the Civil War, to serving as a tax haven now, Bermuda's wealth is both evident and hidden. But as always, I wondered at whose cost.

I was determined to find signs of a living, breathing place (e.g. subversive graffiti) rather than a lacquered facade for tourists. Shamefully, I couldn't stop looking at her facades...

Perhaps I didn't walk enough to explore the less travelled? Perhaps I should've stayed in one parish or city and experienced it fully? Neither is the local way of life though, too hot most days and too small every day. People often ask me what it was like to live on a speck of Earth (it's okay, I hate me right now too), and in true Bermudian hospitality, I tell them they should visit for at least two weeks for a sneak-peek of their next dream. Wear your tourist hat proud the first week: rent a moped and ram into a wall (saw this SO many times as a kid -- easy rider, dear tourist); turn into a lobster and make friends with them at the beach; buy jewelry you will never wear. The second week is the week you may find yourself at an open house party in Southampton. Remember the stranger you chatted with at the grocery store in Hamilton last week? Yeah, his friend invited you. And so began the ripple effect of your real social network in Bermuda. This is how you'll learn, and how I relearned when I went to visit recently, the exorbitant reality of living in paradise. 

"We have all the problems they have in the U.S. or U.K. but they're magnified here because the island is so small -- everything matters more." My friend's grandmother wasn't imparting local wisdom to an expat kid, she was telling me a fact. With little natural resources, industry, and agriculture, the island has to put on a pretty front for tourists and international businesses. Every minute detail counts towards the country's appeal and in return, income. Looking back, I think her grandmother knew precisely what she was doing. Her words shifted my view of Bermuda -- constipated, I was warned of demerits outside of school hours if I wore my uniform without the requisite tie, "Mom, it takes me an hour to walk home, I'm going to DIE from suffocation!!" -- so I could become more Bermudian: more aware of the environment, more social, more hospitable, and more sincere ('cause who buys a first impression without sincerity? ;) ) If I started this post about one parish or city in Bermuda, it just wouldn't have been Bermudian.

Finished church (aka St. Peter's)

Unfinished church (aka Unfinished Church...no, really)

Length of Stay

Four years and roughly a month on separate occasions.

Docking Index

     

Five anchors -- only after a 9.5 docking index for approximately two decades. Let me explain, after my high school senior trip of one back to Bermuda, I knew I wanted to return -- but permanently. This want was so strong and so continuous that for years I didn't even consider the alternative, a vacation. 17 years later I decided to grow up (in my defense, Life kept on getting in the way), and two weeks later I found myself looking down into the turquoise waters from my flight and asking that infamous question around Bermuda's waters, what happened? Had the island changed? Had I changed? I need a Tootsie Pop first :/