St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands

Good lord, I've been staring at this screen for 45 minutes (lie: I've been reading about dumb shit -- way too embarrassed to link it back here) and I still got nothin'. I have a theory though: it's difficult to write about islands, especially Caribbean islands. No one wants to read about crystal or turquoise waters nowadays, they want to see them. With that, let's welcome Ms. Turquoise and Ms. Crystal to the stage [applause]! Don't be shy now ladies, come on out...