Washington D.C.

In roughly one month two different people jumped over the White House fence. Before you go bat shit crazy rattling off labels, let me explain why this act isn't something you or I aren't capable of. 

Politics doesn't have to be your cup of tea for D.C. to charge you right on up like a unidirectional flow of electric charge produced by batteries. (Yes, some read DC and they think of the band. Some actually read it as District of Columbia. And some socially hapless fools, think of batteries.) While the rest of the country reads, watches, or listens to the morning news as the inanimate objects which distribute it, in D.C. you are a person with a voice and don't give a damn if the only one to hear it 7 o'clock in the morning is a thing. So when you step out into the world emblazoned and happen to walk by the White House with an easily surmountable fence, that 7 o'clock rabble-rouser is yelling, "Jump over it! And ask the President what the hell is going on?!?" But, you don't. Suddenly something catches your eye...

Or something else will for most of us. You have to wonder if our schizophrenic attention span is what really keeps us sane. But you can call me crazy for this little theory I have: D.C.'s distractions attractions are strategically placed. Think about it, is there a real need to erect 4 (free!) Smithsonian museums, 1 Botanic Garden (totally worth it), and 1 large meditative pool of water all within walking distance of the White House and Capitol Building?? The truth my friends, is out there*...

Capitol Building sculpture made out of leaves!

See what I mean...

* Fine, my theory is a bit flawed thanks 202 episodes and one feature film of The X-Files. The movie was such a let down when the show had Agent Mulder saying deep shit like, "I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask." 

Length of Stay

Roughly a day

Docking Index

     

Five anchors because you definitely need more than a day to see/experience what D.C. is really like, especially if you might live there one day. The National Mall alone probably takes a full day if you forego eating, taking pictures, and loitering around the White House fence. (I'm kidding Big Brother, kidding.)