St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands

Good lord, I've been staring at this screen for 45 minutes (lie: I've been reading about dumb shit -- way too embarrassed to link it back here) and I still got nothin'. I have a theory though: it's difficult to write about islands, especially Caribbean islands. No one wants to read about crystal or turquoise waters nowadays, they want to see them. With that, let's welcome Ms. Turquoise and Ms. Crystal to the stage [applause]! Don't be shy now ladies, come on out...

I forgot ya'll are a classy bunch, let's bring 'em back out with a little more flair:

What's that? Encore you say? Ladies, put out all the stops now for these gluttonous fools!

Sorry for the bawdy* extended metaphor. Sadly, it continues visually. (I swear my intentions were chaste!) But to use another literary device, the foil,  is the perfect way to describe St. John. Take the island of Manhattan: replace the looming steel stakes with the graceful ascent of bronzed palms; replace its speed and skepticism with patience and trust; replace lights with sunlight, and once you change all those people into cockroaches**, you'll have St. John.

When I read how the two islands are roughly the same size in one of those tourist brochures you always pick up but never use, I was compelled to verify my source. But moreover, why the need to print this fact? Pangaea broke up into a million pieces, this instance can't be unique. Then again, who doesn't love a good Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde comparison? 

You'll be driving like a Brit here

Seagrapes, I have yet to try its wine

* This is how TV rots young, budding minds. What's the first thing I think of when I hear the words "crystal" or "turquoise"? Stripper names. Horrible, horrible I tell you. Especially when I used to collect rocks and gems as a kid. And still my synapses were cross-wired.
** Rest assured there aren't that many.


Length of Stay

Two weeks (yep, pretty grateful)

Docking Index

      

Seven anchors, like all good foils, one isn't void the characteristics of the other. Though Rockefeller (yep, that Manhattanite) preserved two-thirds of the island as a national park, St. John still suffers from the same woes as its urban mirror. Drugs, racial tension, eradication of the old -- it's all here. Albeit on a smaller, hopefully manageable, scale.